Having a child with special needs affects the whole family.

Having a child with additional needs changes a family.  I think you become more insular as no one can truly understand how much your life has changed.  We are not the same people, same couple, same family as we were before our special boy, Hugh, was born.  Our priorities have changed.  Our needs have changed.  Hell, even our political views have changed.  It’s not all bad though.  Yes, I am beginning to feel isolated from even my closest friends, but in turn, we have grown stronger as a couple, talk more openly and rely on each other more.

My overriding concern has always been though, the effect having a brother with special needs will have on my eldest son, Sean.  He is nearly three and I worry almost as much about his future as I do about his younger brother’s. Will he get bullied for having a brother that is so ‘different’?  Will he feel neglected because his brother demands so much care and attention?  Will he be embarrassed by a brother that can’t walk or talk?  Will he be jealous…


How do I explain something that is beyond explanation?
How can I make sense of something that makes no sense at all?
How do I breathe when the air has been sucked from my lungs?
How can my heart beat when it has been ripped from my chest?
How can I keep living when I feel so dead inside?

The sun still rises,
The birds still sing,
The world keeps turning.

But you have gone.

And I am lost.

***** ***** ***** ***** *****

For Lyla, the precious little angel that is being laid to rest tomorrow. My thoughts and prayers are with her family.  They have set up a just giving page in Lyla’s memory – you can find it here.