Dear Doctor

Dear Medical Professional,

You will ask about his medical history,
And I will repeat the story I have told 100 times or more,
The details fine tuned to the essentials I know you need:
He was born full term,
He has a 7 year old brother who is fit and well,
He is allergic to penicillin. 

You will ask me what happened,
And I will answer:
He is 6 years old.
He wasn't breathing for 7 minutes.
I gave him mouth to mouth.

I will hand over a careful typed piece of A4 paper.
It will tell you his hospital number,
The things he is allergic to,
A list of medications and doses.
You will take it and smile.
You'll tell me I make your job easier.

I will stand calm,
And in control.  You see my demeanour,
my hospital bags packed and ready,
And you say,
You've done this before.
I'll nod and say many times.

But remember this; That 6 year old is my baby.

That boy with the oxygen,
And the wires,
And the tubes,
Is my son.

I watched him turn blue. The first time,
The fifth time,
The hundred and fifty fifth time...
It was still …

Gone

How do I explain something that is beyond explanation?
How can I make sense of something that makes no sense at all?
How do I breathe when the air has been sucked from my lungs?
How can my heart beat when it has been ripped from my chest?
How can I keep living when I feel so dead inside?

The sun still rises,
The birds still sing,
The world keeps turning.

But you have gone.

And I am lost.


***** ***** ***** ***** *****

For Lyla, the precious little angel that is being laid to rest tomorrow. My thoughts and prayers are with her family.  They have set up a just giving page in Lyla’s memory – you can find it here.

Comments