Having a child with special needs affects the whole family.

Having a child with additional needs changes a family.  I think you become more insular as no one can truly understand how much your life has changed.  We are not the same people, same couple, same family as we were before our special boy, Hugh, was born.  Our priorities have changed.  Our needs have changed.  Hell, even our political views have changed.  It’s not all bad though.  Yes, I am beginning to feel isolated from even my closest friends, but in turn, we have grown stronger as a couple, talk more openly and rely on each other more.



My overriding concern has always been though, the effect having a brother with special needs will have on my eldest son, Sean.  He is nearly three and I worry almost as much about his future as I do about his younger brother’s. Will he get bullied for having a brother that is so ‘different’?  Will he feel neglected because his brother demands so much care and attention?  Will he be embarrassed by a brother that can’t walk or talk?  Will he be jealous…

I know different ...


I found this beautiful poem on another page. Thought it was lovely and wanted t share it with you. Haven't managed to find the original anywhere but apparently it's by someone called Tricia Proefrock...


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Dear Mommy, 

I have felt your tears, falling on my face. 
Someone else might think they are tears of sadness, because of what I can't do. 

I KNOW DIFFERENT.

I know those tears pour from your heart out of gratitude for me, because of what I CAN do: I can love everyone in the purest form possible. Unconditionally. I can be judged, but will never judge in return. 
I know different because I feel, in your hugs and kisses, that I'm perfect just the way I am. 


I have seen you hang your head down in shame, when we go out on adventures. 
Someone else might think you are ashamed of having a child like me. 

I KNOW DIFFERENT. 

I know you are ashamed of the grown-ups who ignore me, yet talk happily to all the other children. The grown-ups who won't look you in the eye, but stare at me, when they think you don't see. I know different because I've seen the many, many more times you have raised your head up high, with pride, because I'm yours. : ) 


I have heard you whispering desperate prayers at night. Someone else might think you are asking God to make me a typical kid. 

I KNOW DIFFERENT.

I know you are thanking Him that I got to be here, with you, for another day- exactly how I am. I know different because I have heard you ask me never to leave you. And I have heard you cheer for me, every single day of my life- you tell me I don't need to be typical to be amazing, I just need to be here. 


I know you have a big job, taking care of me. 
I know your body hurts, because I'm getting so big. 
I know that more than anything, you want to hear me say your name. 
And I know you worry that you aren't good enough, and that you will fail me. 

BUT I KNOW DIFFERENT MOMMY.....
I know that even on your worst days, you will always be enough for me, and I will always love you more than you know.