Accepting My Child Will Never Walk

I remember reading, a few years back, about someone with cancer feeling inadequate because they weren't running marathons or raising millions of pounds for charity. They were 'just', you know, getting on, turning up for chemo, hoping for the best. I've read too about people who've become depressed (understandably) as the cancer has taken hold; felt like giving up. But those aren't the stories that make the papers; people don't want to read about that. They want INSPIRATION. Defying the odds... That kind of thing. Not just ... Well you know ... The everyday kind of suffering.  
I wondered how it would feel to have cancer and read about the people running 26 miles when you're barely fit to get to the end of your bed. Do you think 'fair play', or do you feel guilty, or unworthy, or maybe that you're just not trying hard enough?
Mind over matter and all that!
Hugh's undiagnosed condition has left his muscles very floppy. He can't walk or si…

I know different ...


I found this beautiful poem on another page. Thought it was lovely and wanted t share it with you. Haven't managed to find the original anywhere but apparently it's by someone called Tricia Proefrock...


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Dear Mommy, 

I have felt your tears, falling on my face. 
Someone else might think they are tears of sadness, because of what I can't do. 

I KNOW DIFFERENT.

I know those tears pour from your heart out of gratitude for me, because of what I CAN do: I can love everyone in the purest form possible. Unconditionally. I can be judged, but will never judge in return. 
I know different because I feel, in your hugs and kisses, that I'm perfect just the way I am. 


I have seen you hang your head down in shame, when we go out on adventures. 
Someone else might think you are ashamed of having a child like me. 

I KNOW DIFFERENT. 

I know you are ashamed of the grown-ups who ignore me, yet talk happily to all the other children. The grown-ups who won't look you in the eye, but stare at me, when they think you don't see. I know different because I've seen the many, many more times you have raised your head up high, with pride, because I'm yours. : ) 


I have heard you whispering desperate prayers at night. Someone else might think you are asking God to make me a typical kid. 

I KNOW DIFFERENT.

I know you are thanking Him that I got to be here, with you, for another day- exactly how I am. I know different because I have heard you ask me never to leave you. And I have heard you cheer for me, every single day of my life- you tell me I don't need to be typical to be amazing, I just need to be here. 


I know you have a big job, taking care of me. 
I know your body hurts, because I'm getting so big. 
I know that more than anything, you want to hear me say your name. 
And I know you worry that you aren't good enough, and that you will fail me. 

BUT I KNOW DIFFERENT MOMMY.....
I know that even on your worst days, you will always be enough for me, and I will always love you more than you know.